Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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