I'm drive I can fine osifer
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
