mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
