dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i think i have herpe
just one?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I love you. Go after that dick
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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