I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
