dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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