Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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