It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
