I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
