no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
