he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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