shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
