Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
