Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i think i just lost a toe
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize