Barsexuality is the new black.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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