I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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