I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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