the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
