We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
