Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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