CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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