I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
