Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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