Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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