Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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