Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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