I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
