come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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