I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
