everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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