"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
