You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You're like the curious george of whores
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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