Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
