I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
