do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
