We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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