i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
