before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
