PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
