Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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