im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
