Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
well most of my day revolves around power hour
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
