I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
