People with herpes should wear stickers.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
