Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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