I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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