ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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