So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
