I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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