you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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