im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
