Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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