I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The power of my boobs compel you
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
