Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
