I wish I could teleport
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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